3/21/08 - new site

I'm not abandoning smelkem at all, but I have recently been working on a new collaborative project over at cadaverblender.com.

The site has quite a bit of potential and I think it is and will continue to be funny.

8/12/07 - Dream Job: Strip Club DJ

Every once in a while I see someone and I think wow, they've got a dream job ... Today's Job: Strip Club DJ.

The Good: Easy Trashy Girls, Easy Trashy Girls taking their clothes off, plenty of booze, closing time, not having to shave, wearing sunglasses in a very dark place, wearing a cowboy hat, sports on the tube, it would be hard to go "over the top", the hilarious characters a strip club attracts, the virtual elimination of sexual harassment, Horny Drunk Easy Trashy Girls, the music is not really bad no worse than your average frat party,

The Bad: Easy Trashy Girls, getting desensitized, smoky atmosphere, people who go to strip clubs, VDs, dark roots, potential to be backup jizz mopper, you might have to live in a trailer, the nasty b and c squad for week day nights, oversexualized girls, Easy Trashy Girl perfume, the lack of intelligent conversation (I recognize that every stripper is in community college and plans to quit as soon as she finishes her degrees and pays the bills, on a related note I also believe the world is flat), having to live in / near a state with good strip clubs, horrible hot chick personalities that were allowed because they are in fact hot chicks, dancers who make tons of money, repetition.

How I Get Fired: Playing Chris Rock's "No Sex in the Champagne Room", Everclear's "Father of Mine" (or any song with allusion to daddy), and generally rocking out to the 80's a little too often. It was the heat of the moment ...

Come on now, this still seems like a dream job even with the obvious negatives, but modern medicine can treat some VDs, and the selection could be potentially unmatched outside of a porno convention. Nobody ,present company included, had the balls to pick this as their career for their report in 7th grade Responsibility Education, but wow I wish I would have. I could easily do this for one year though, just to give it a try and enjoy the lifestyle ... take me home, country roads.

8/10/07 - My Buddy and Me

Somehow a recent discussion came onto the topic of "My Buddy" dolls. I was desperately trying to remember "My Buddy". I remember his name was Fred and that he had blonde hair. I think it was this one ...

or maybe this one?

I'm confident he did have moving eyes and he did not have crazy pants, this one is out ...

I found these pictures from eBay. You can't search google for "my Buddy", porn comes up. The best part about these dolls on eBay is that most of them include a description that says "play related stains". I can use my imagination on what a play related stain is ... still grossed out.

For the record I think I had the first one, with the second one's clothes. No hats for my buddy. Halloween 2007?

"Kid Sister" tomorrow?

8/5/07 - Shears was ahead of his time

Something sort of randomly entered my mind recently. I started wondering why we rank our friends. I noticed it on MySpace (Top 8? 12, 356?), and then all the sudden when facebook started letting you list "top Friends" via third party application. It got me to thinking, that's fucked up! Why would someone need to rank their friends?

Well my next thoughts were slightly even more unusual than normal. A former amigo used to rank his friends as well. It wasn't via a hip social networking site though - it was on his blog and he explained his choices.

April Rankings

December Rankings

What did I say to Shears way back when? THATS FUCKED UP! Either way I consider Shears somewhat of an innovator, of course both facebook and myspace existed at the times of these blog posts but they were nowhere near the giant monsters we consider them today, they also don't include descriptions which make the rankings oh so piercing.

So I salute you Shears!

As a word of caution, if you decided to read his entire blog, second hand depression is a potential side-effect. Also SPOILER ALERT, he did not join any sort of military service, as far as I knew as of August 2006.



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